Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Top Ten Signs You’re Not Going To Get A Conviction

1. The warrant was signed by a guy who played a judge on television.
2. The arrestee is the hometown’s Major League Baseball franchise’s new pitching ace. (David Wells signed by Red Sox.).
3. You recognize half the jury because you’ve arrested them at least six times each.
4. Judge’s nickname – Old Softy.
5. The defense has pictures of the beers in the fridge at department’s crime lab.
6. Your probable cause is “A whiff of mischief.”
7. She’s a he.
8. There’s audio tape of your partner saying, “Yeah, I got your f%$ing warrant right here!”
9. Your main witness needs a drink to calm down from the crack.
10. Johnny Cochran.

(reprinted from APB)

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