YOU CAN’T MAKE THIS STUFF UP

The following are excerpts from actual investigative supplemental reports.

“We went to the door looking for the perp. We knocked, there was no answer. We knocked hard, then we knocked really really hard. There was still no answer”.

“I spoke to the doctor in the hospital. He said the victim’s condition was very very bad.”

“The witness stated she could not identify the perp, but that she would be able to identify the dog. Because we have no photos of dogs for an array request this case be closed.”